The brother he never knew
by SephrinaRose
Summary: What would happen if Alphonse couldn't remember his brother? Post- series Fullmetal Alchemist. Death-fic. One-shot.


Hey guys, another FMA story :) this idea has been floating around in my head for awhile. Enjoy.

Disclaimer : I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist

* * *

"No you can't" I interrupt. Roy had suggested that we tell Al about Edward. Roy, Riza and Gran all turn to look at me. "If he doesn't remember, he shouldn't have to. He won't be able to live knowing he lives now, healthy and happy in a human body because Ed...went away". Tears once again well up in my eyes as I remember when Roy and Riza arrived with a human Alphonse at our house telling us that Edward had died. They had left his body in central, he will be buried as a solider. Apparently Envy - a homunculi - stabbed Ed, straight through his heart and in his last moments he had used his life as payment for Al's body. He always kept his promises, it's ironic that his promises ended up killing him. He was such a idiot. But I loved him. Oh I loved him so much.

"Okay" Roy agrees. "But I have to see if Al remembers him".

* * *

"Augh" I say while waking up. I sit up and open my eyes and I'm assaulted by light. I'm in my room at Winrys house. I arrived yesterday after waking up in a ballroom that had a large transmutation circle in the middle. Funny that. I only remember certain things. I feel like I'm missing something very important. Ever since I woke up yesterday everything been a blur, but I've been gradually remembering things, like alchemy and the Rockbell's. After the military found me they brought me here. They were all talking to me like they know me. I asked questions but the answers were very vague and I can't remember them. That seems to happen for everything at the moment.

I sigh as I climb out of bed and get dressed. At least I remember how to look after myself. I look in the mirror at the wall. Short blond hair, large brown eyes. I sigh again as I walk out of my room and down the stairs. "Winry" I call. I walk into the living room where her, Pinako and some people I cant remember in military uniforms are sitting. Winry is hastily wiping at tears with a tissue. "Win, are you okay" I say as I nervously eye the unknown people in the room, she nods at me with a small smile.

"Hello Alphonse" a man with raven hair and onyx eyes says. I look at his uniform and a memory hits me like a wave. A office, this man. Mustang. Riza. Havoc. Fuery. Blue, blue everywhere then...red. A red coat. Red and gold.

I feel hands shaking me and I snap out of the memory. It's Roy.

"Roy?" I ask him. His expression changes from one of worry to one of conflicted happiness.

"So your getting you memories back I see, what do you remember?" He asks me as he settles me on the couch. I see Winry on the other side of the room watching me carefully.

"Riza" I say while pointing to Riza. "Alchemy" I say to him while he nods at me. "Is that all you remember?" Roy says to me. I look across the room while reciting my previous memory blast in my head. "A red coat." I turn towards Roy and his eyes hold pain for some reason. "Why do I feel like the colours red and gold are important to me Roy?" I ask in a small voice. Winry let's loose a chocked sob. I turn to her "Win?" But before she says anything Roy speaks.

"Do you remember your family Alphonse?" Another wave of memories hit me. Mother. Mum smiling as she looks into the distance, the sun making her hair shine like a angels. Mum in bed coughing, mums hand slipping from mine. A man with gold hair. Dad? Dad walking out the door. This time Roy doesn't snap me away from my memory, I do.

"Mum died didn't she? A long time ago. Dad left too" I state as I look at the floor. This time Winry speaks

"Do you remember anything else Al?" Winry asks

"No. Why? Should I?" I ask, I see Roy turn away with pain and sadness evident in his expression.

"No, just asking" Winry says, but her eyes show her emotions, she has a very deep pain. Like a broken heart.

* * *

I lie in bed while mulling over what happened today. Roy and Riza left a couple of hours ago and Roy hugged me and told me he was sorry. I don't understand why but if I think about all the things I don't remember or understand, my head will explode. Instead I try to think about what I do know. My name is Alphonse Elric. I had a mother, Trisha Elric and a father Hohenheim Elric. After my dad left and my mother died I began living with Auntie Pinako and Winry, my best friend from school. I was really good at alchemy so I wanted to become a state alchemist to help people and I had a teacher Izumi Curtis. I went to central and I lived with Roy until my state alchemist exams. I didn't pass but I still had good relationships with Roy's crew. One day I was kidnapped because people wanted to get to Roy and that's how I ended up in a Ballroom in a underground city, the old one before the new central was built. I don't remember anything because I hit my head and fainted. Well that's what I was told anyway. I believe them but I feel like something's missing from all this, but they probably just forgot to tell me. Oh well. I'll probably find out soon enough.

* * *

"Morning Win" I say as I stumble into the kitchen. She was making breakfast as usual. The past couple of weeks have been quiet, like there was something missing that usually livens up the place. But it's probably just me.

"Hi Al" she says as I sit down at the table

"Hey Win, do you think if its okay if I go to central tomorrow?" I ask hopefully.

She stiffen's and stops cooking, but then keeps going. "Why's that Al?"

"Um well, I want to see all the things I've forgotten about, maybe I could see the military and Roy's house?" I say while scratching the bak of my head.

"If Gran doesn't mind then I guess so" Winry says without looking at me.

"Okay"

* * *

It was so hard today, one of the hardest days in a while. I wanted to tell Al that he didn't need to go because there was nothing left for him to see in Central. He only went there in the first place to get his and Ed's body's back. But that was all for naught. I get up from my work station where I have been trying to escape life and forget what happened to Ed. But I could never forget him. I go to my closet where Ed's things are kept. I haven't been in here since I was given them by Roy. I take out the suitcase with shaking hands and place it on my bed. I open the top and take out Ed's watch. It has so many dents and scratches from all of Ed's adventures. I remember the time I opened it and Ed got really mad at me. I smile at the memory before I put the watch back in Ed's old suitcase. Gran recently put in all the pictures of Ed so Al wouldn't see them. I take out the one that was taken the week before he died. He's smiling at the camera, one of the rare proper smiles Ed gave. The wind was blowing and his coat and golden hair were fluttering in the wind. His sparkling golden eyes looking straight at the camera. It feels like he's looking at me, it seems so real. But I miss his smile, I miss his hidden personality which he only showed to Gran, Al and I. Everyone thought he was a stubborn brat. But that was just the façade he would put on to keep people away from him, so he wouldn't get hurt again. But when he was with us he would smile and help around the house. He would stay up late at night with me while I finished his auto mail so I wouldn't be lonely. He would stay up with Al too, since he couldn't sleep.

Ed. I miss him so much. His hate for milk. His stubbornness. His alchemy geekness. But most of all I miss his warmth. I lie on my bed and clutch the photo to my heart, as if I held I close enough I could feel him again. I cry into my pillow, I let it all flow. All my sadness and my grief. I first I was in denial. But he truly is dead, and he's never coming back with his broken automail. But I still make it for him. I had only let some tears flow but it was just cracks in the dam, now it's come down. I wail into my pillow as sobs shake my body. I was going to tell Ed that I loved him, but he died before I got the chance.

* * *

Today I left for central. The train ride was extremely boring. I met Roy at they station and now I'm in my room at his house. This room hasn't brought back any memories, so I'm going to go elsewhere. I walk down the stairs and towards the lounge where Roy is listening to the radio. "Is it okay if I go out?" I ask Roy

"Sure Al, just be back by dinner time". Roy answers as he turns to me. He looks really tired.

"Thanks, make sure you get some sleep". I tell him "Bye".

* * *

I watch as Al walks out the door. It's hard to keep up my façade around him. Lately I've been missing work. After all It was my fault Edward died. I got him involved in the military and he became a target for the homunculi. Now he's dead. I dread the day that Alphonse remembers Edward. I don't think I could handle that. Even though Riza assures me it's not my fault, I still believe it. He died alone because Alphonse was unconscious when he died. I wish I could of at least been there for him. I learnt in the war that the worst thing was dying alone. Now my youngest subordinate has gone through it. It wasn't fair that he had to die -if it wasn't for Envy - Ed could still be running around looking for the philosophers stone and messing up my office. I always used to yell at him when he did that, but truly I didn't mind. He was just playing around with us because he was lonely, not that he ever would of admitted it. But he was a lonely child who had to grow up to fast to support his brother. I miss our stupid short joke fights. I miss my loud office. I miss him.

* * *

I wander around Central aimlessly, seeing if anything jogs my memory. As I walk across the side walk I see the cemetery. I feel as if I'm drawn to it. I walk inside and my legs take me to the military section. I once again begin to wander. I have no idea why I would be her. The only person that know who is dead is Mum, and she's in Resembool. I come across the new graves section and begin reading. Mark Stevens, Eren Jaeger, Edward Elric. I back track. Elric? The grave reads :

Edward Elric  
The Fullmetal alchemist  
3rd Febuary 1905~30 April 1922  
Aged 16

I stare at the picture. A young golden haired boy. A memory flashes across my mind. Him turning around to smile at me, his golden hair and red coat flying in the wind. My brother. But then the memories start getting painful, and they hit me like a train. I collapse in font of my brothers grave. Scar. Nina. homunculli. The ballroom. Envy. Them fighting. Brothers blood everywhere and Brother looking at me as the light fades from his eyes, his hand held out to me. Brother dead on the floor in a pool of blood. "Nii-san" I mumble as tears slip down my cheek. The weather turns sour and it starts to rain, like he sky shares my sadness.

Why did nobody tell me about Brother, why did nobody tell me that he died? I try to come up with a explanation in my head but I'm overruled by grief. I lie down in front of his grave and I wail into my arms. I lift my head and scream to the sky. I fall over in the dirt and cry myself to sleep.

* * *

I'm going around doing my rounds. Trimming trees and disposing of dead flowers when I come across a young boy lying on the ground in front of a grave. "Kid, wake up" I say and the kid begins to wake up . I look at the grave stone. It was the newest one in the cemetery. The grave of the Fullmetal Alchemist, Age 16. I gasp at this. The youngest grave I've seen in this section. I look down at the kid on the ground. He must of been the Fullmetal kid's brother. The boy looks up at me with sad eyes.

"Why did Brother have to die, Mr gardener."

"I don't know kid". I reply, I'm used to this but I haven't seen anyone so destroyed.

"All he wanted was to make me better, he didn't deserve to die". The kid starts crying again.

"Don't cry, I'm sure your brother wouldn't want you to cry. He was a strong person" I try to reassure the kid.

"Are you sure" The kid questions me.

"Yes, he would. People that die only leave if they know that you will be strong enough to cope on your own. Do you doubt your brother?"

"No, I just.. Nobody told me that he died, that it was my fault".

"I'm sure it wasn't, besides your brother would want you to stand strong and continue with your life". I say to the kid as I lift him off the ground.

"Yes, he was always like that. Thankyou Mr Gardener."

"Call me Evan" I say as I smile at him.

"Call me Alphonse". He smiles back has he begins to turn away "Thank you".

"Remember one day, you can see him again".

"Okay... goodbye" he turns and walks out of the cemetery while waving.

"Are you satisfied now Edward" I ask the spirit next to me. The golden haired child has tears in his eyes but he nods, causing his hair to float around his translucent head. "You can move on now, go see your mother. Your brother will be there one day too".

"Thank you for helping me and my brother" he says as he begins fading. "Goodbye" and with that he completely disappears.

* * *

I hope you guys enjoyed it. Please review, see you soon :D

God Bless,  
SephrinaRose


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